Learning to Heal, Not Recover
My Bold Boss Mom journey starts almost seven years ago.
My ex came home one day packed his bags and moved to a different state. He never discussed his decision with me before leaving and sadly he had no plans to stay actively involved with our kids.
I was blindsided and hurt but ignored my feelings. In true single mom fashion, my focus went straight to my kids. I wrongly assumed that all I needed to do was distract myself and I would feel better over time.
Months went by and I avoided processing what happened with my ex. I instead became a shell of myself by putting on a brave face and telling myself everything would be okay.
I was not okay.
Do you know the feeling of doing something without realizing you are doing it?
I went through a long phase of tensing up my body without knowing I was doing it. Even worse, I felt and looked tired all the time. The weight gain kicked in and overtime I started to withdraw from my kids.
I didn’t recognize the effects of abandonment and betrayal because my main focus was on everyone else’s well being and not my own.
The phrase “I’m tired” became a part of my everyday vocabulary. Obviously, I was actually tired because when you do what we do everyday it gets exhausting.
But, me repeating this phrase was becoming an issue.
Learning Realistic Wellness Expectations
Have you ever hit a road block and found it hard to escape from unhealthy habits?
Some days I could do it all with no issues. Other days I felt overwhelmed and unmotivated. The problem was that the “other days” started to became normal days and if I wasn’t at work I was in bed, resting.
I was transforming into a mom my kids couldn’t recognize. When My son suggested bringing his basketball goal into my room so I could play from bed I felt embarrassed and guilty.
That moment was my reality check. I wanted to do better so I made a plan with short and long term goals.
Instead of unlocking my full potential, manifesting, and finding my purpose, I focused on realistic goals like:
- cleansing toxic relationships
- earning my degree
- buying a house
- starting a business
- and living a honest, healthy, and whole life
My experiences taught me how to be strategic , trust my gut, and stay optimistic.
