Do you ever avoid telling yourself, “It’s hard to be a single mom?” If expressing yourself has ever felt hard, you’re not alone. As single moms, we face challenges that are not visible to everyone. We sometimes receive more backlash than understanding when we vent.
- “you chose to have kids.”
- “you decided to have kids with that person.”
- “you need to figure it out on your own.”
Those are just a few comments I have heard over the years.
Sometimes, it feels like we’re not allowed to have any emotions. For us, having a bad day turns into examining everything about us.
But being a single mom is hard. There is nothing to be ashamed of or hide from the facts. We do the work of two or more people, mostly alone. Some people can barely manage their day even without the responsibility of raising kids.
Here are three simple reasons why being a Single Mom is hard.
There May Be a Lack of All-Around Support
The number one reason is pretty obvious, but let’s dig deeper. The role of a single mom has evolved over the years.
We have single moms:
- due to bad relationships,
- from unwanted experiences,
- from abrupt life changes or
- by choice
But those are just a few reasons. We know we are not a monolith, but having support remains a constant necessity in our lifestyle.
Since we are not the same or live as one, our access to support varies.
Some of us have family, friends, and more in our village. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a town or city for children. Support in those numbers is sometimes a rarity. We may have the support that seems helpful in some ways but in other ways makes life difficult.
For example, a family member offers childcare so you can work. But, they make remarks to make you feel guilty for “choosing work over being a mom”. While their physical support, childcare, is necessary. Their negative comments are unsupportive to your lifestyle as a single mom.
Managing Everything Alone Creates Stress
The number two reason is that we manage almost everything solo. From our family to our household and beyond, we do a lot. And I mean every day.
Some of our daily duties include:
- setting and following a morning school routine
- working a full-time job
- managing household chores and finances
- giving your undivided attention to someone else
How do we do so much in just a day? A week? Or even a year? Raising kids by yourself is stressful. Raising kids, in general, creates stress.
Since we are all different, our kids will be too. Because of those differences, our experiences as parents may be smooth or rocky.
We Sometimes Neglect Ourselves
The third and final reason being a single mom is hard is because we sometimes neglect ourselves. Have you ever been on go mode only to realize you haven’t done anything for yourself? For example, eating when you’re hungry and actually enjoying your food. Or, taking a moment to enjoy your morning, afternoon, evening, or weekend without thinking about your obligations.
Our lifestyle is one full of expectations of us being consistent. But sometimes, we skip over our needs to better care for others. Of course, it’s not the best approach, but it’s a realistic one.
The Hard Times Lead to Better Outcomes
Being a single mom is hard. There is no denying that fact. It’s not easy ignoring negative comments or backlash when we vent. But optimism leads us through the hard times and to better outcomes.
Share your thoughts.
What are some reasons you believe being a single mom is hard?
