Do you ever look at your kids and think, “Wow, you grew up fast”! The once cliche saying now applies to moms who have reached the almost-there milestone. Some moms anticipate this milestone but, it also goes unnoticed.
When our children get to the double-digit age group, it’s cause for a celebration. Now, I’m well aware of the obstacle course called raising pre-teens and teens. But, I’ve grown from the years of being a first-time mom, raising a toddler and newborn at the same time.
Sometimes, I feel like life passes right by me. Or did I speed up my journey to this milestone? Let me give you some insights.
My Journey Starts with “Princess”
Why did you give your child their name? Contrary to the heading, I do not have a child named Princess. However, my daughter’s name does mean “a princess” in Persian. I can remember searching for her name in baby name books and online. I was set on names beginning with the letter “S” but no memories of why. It’s just the Leo in me, always moving with a purpose, sometimes without a valid reason.
I chose her name because it fit. In my mind, heart, and soul, I knew she would live up to it. I was right! My daughter’s name also means “evening conversationalist” and, she enjoys talking. Especially at bedtime, but always closer to the time when she should be asleep. We frequently stayed up late talking about school, friends, family, and anything else on our minds.
Her Beginning
My little Princess was on the smaller side when she was born. I was surprised when she weighed in at only four pounds and twelve ounces. She was also a bit early. Not too early to be considered a preemie but early enough to have people holding their breath. I was young and super slim like I’ve always been.
During my first pregnancy, I was frequently nauseous and struggled to feel comfortable in my skin. After my water broke, I was in labor for 24 hours. There were moments of worry when She arrived in the world. But, she was a healthy baby and, once I took her home, the journey was worth the complications. Eventually, my FTM experiences took over those memories. Experiences that were even more challenging but also the best times of my life.
Now my Princess is:
- A teenager
- In high school, and
- Probably going to be taller than me
We’ve come a long way, from matching outfits to screaming matches. Thankfully, we still have our nightly conversations. Our talks have always offered serenity in our relationship. I made it through the 2020 pandemic with a child who blossomed into a teenager. That’s worth celebrating.
Then Came the “Saint” Who Always Challenges Me
Which person in your life challenges you to do more than you think is possible? I knew that raising my son would come with challenges, but not the ones I expected. As a mom, I’ve learned that gender roles can be flawed. We all want what’s best for our kids but, does that involve unrealistic expectations? Sometimes. But we are human, not perfect.
My son’s name is closely associated with a famous Saint and an inspirational writer.
His Beginning
Some would describe my son as a momma’s boy. We have the type of relationship where we thrive off of healthy competition.
He’s the main person who encouraged me to:
- play basketball more
- learn to play chess
- enjoy watching some YouTube gamer channels
Little Saint was born during one of the hottest summers on record. I remember going to the hospital desperately wanting my doctor to admit me. I was ready for him to move out into the world. My second pregnancy was pretty easy compared to the first. But being pregnant in that kind of heat was unbearable.
Another issue was all of the overstretching my son did in my womb. I guess there wasn’t enough room for him to feel comfortable. I sometimes still feel the effects of how my rib cage expanded when his legs pushed outward. He was long-bodied at twenty inches and weighed six pounds and seven ounces.
Like his sister, had moments of worry after his arrival. He swallowed some of the amniotic fluid during the delivery. Luckily, the birthing team acted quickly to ensure he was safe.
There were many other babies born on the same day as my son. It was the first time I had to relocate to a different room after giving birth. The hospital was full inside as the degrees outside reached 100+. The day we were discharged, the temperature got up to 110 degrees. I was more nervous about a heat-related event than our drive home.
My son is a lot like me in some ways and completely different in many other ways. We have the same sense of humor in an unusual telepathic way.
But, we clash as far as:
- him wearing his emotions and me masking mine
- dealing with the most boy-mom annoying behaviors (if you know, you know)
- using his height as a flex (he actually is taller than me)
Regardless, we have a bond that’s shaped by how we challenge each other. Who doesn’t celebrate having a mini-motivator?
Now the Journey Continues into Wellness
How did you learn how to be a mom? I learned how to be a mother to two children naturally. The natural way means making mistakes, learning from them, and staying optimistic. My experiences as a new mom will forever be a part of me. I brought life into this world and added extraordinary reasons to my life’s purpose.
The transition to raising a toddler and newborn, at the same time, was complicated. So why would I not give myself props for doing my best? Sometimes, my daughter saw her brother as her competitor. Other times my son’s behaviors annoyed his sister. Eventually, they learned each other’s likes and dislikes.
I celebrate the days when I don’t have to do much to get them to get along. Because I know trying to achieve my goals took time away from those teachable moments.
I don’t regret taking care of my wants and needs while raising my children. Self-care to me meant graduating college, buying a house, and starting a business.
Over time, my children learned how to lean on each other for support, a gift within itself. Those are the moments I look at as milestones.
Once they reach those double-digit ages, we see more of ourselves reflected in them. I also say that we anticipate this time because you either celebrate or re-evaluate. Those are the only two realistic actions you can take. Children will always grow up too fast.
However, it’s up to us to keep track of that time and how we spend it together.
Share your thoughts.
What are some parenting milestones you feel goes unnoticed?
